 The Thoughts of a Child BrideEveryone is celebrating and rejoicing. Your family and your new husband's family tell you what a beautiful bride you are while your world is crumbling. You are supposed to decide your future, right? This...marriage wasn't a surprise. The contract was fixed when you were 7, and you're 12 now. But it didn't seem real until now either. You have a crush on your neighbor; he's 13. But, instead, you are getting married to a 40-year-old man. Your first kiss was with him - just nine months ago. You were bashful, giggling. ... The sadness is overwhelming and threatens to drown you - before you get to the worst part of getting married at 13. You're frightened and tears drop from your lower eyelashes, drenching your face. Nobody notices, this wedding is for them. They planned it long ago and are celebrating the future you don't have anymore. You pray you won't, but you know you will be have to let him assault you tonight, and any night he wants from now on. It will hurt and bruise you. But, there is no choice. All of a sudden, you are cold and shaking. ...  There's a different home you are supposed to take care of now; it's too quiet. There are no parents or giggling siblings around, just an empty house. They call it yours, but you know that isn't true. It's HIS house. Any time he wants, he can leave you alone and homeless. You must clean and tend his home and keep it neat, but it doesn't belong to you. Nothing does anymore. ... You picture the metal bars of the swing set in the park and realize that they match the silver thread in your dress. You can feel the warmth of the black rubber seats of the swings on the backs of your legs. Playing on them last month, you giggled every time you went too high, and your stomach dropped on the way down. You were there with your sweet neighbor boy. ... The next time you play on those swings, it will be to push your child on them. Your husband is planning on having a baby right away. This swing set, your toys, play, these aren't for you anymore, nothing is for you except the darkness you feel and the abuse you have become used to. You look in the mirror and see purple spots on your slight frame, wondering what you did wrong. What will it look like, swelling with child. The children that-will-be won't go through what you are. Giggles are what you want for them, not tears. ... Now you do everything his way. And there is no way out. You asked a lawyer, but you can't leave him. You're too young to sign for yourself. Fear balls up your insides every time you think about the future. It's sheer terror. He gets so angry. You can't do anything right and you know it, because he tells you that all the time. And you don't understand what else to do to make it right. School, friends, and family seem so long ago, even though it has only been 6 months since that nightmarish party that changed your life. ... There is no more giggling... Where Does Child Marriage Happen?The short answer is everywhere. Girls are forced to be brides everywhere in the world. The statistics on child marriage are terrifying. 23 girls and young women under 18 are married each minute or about one every 3 seconds. The horrifying truth is that 15 million girls get married before they turn 18 each year. 650 million women of the world's population were married as minors. Although childhood marriage is an abstract idea for most people, the reality is that in both developing and developed countries, child marriage is common. It is happening around each of us as we are allowed to ignore it in its perceived invisibility. While some marriages occur closer to the international age of majority, n developing countries, 1 out of every nine young girls are married before they turn 15; 1 in 3 are married before 18. The results of this on human rights, women's rights, and the financial world are catastrophic. And the problem of childhood marriage doesn't only exist in developing countries or among traditions. Children get sold every day into marriage in the United States because their parents can't or don't want to take care of them, no matter their family background. Child Marriage Has Deep RootsChild marriage has existed throughout recorded history. Children were mini-adults, rulers, warriors, and dictators from very young ages and took brides as equally young or younger than they were. Grown men married girls as soon as they reached puberty, which was the law. The ancient governments didn't fully enforce this law. Girls aged 9 or 10 were commonly married. They, as women usually do, exist only in the background of the narrative. The reality is that in Ancient Greece and Rome, parents arranged their girls' marriages for financial and social reasons. Girls were bought and sold then and still are thousands of years later. The reasons parents and families turn girls into brides include financial gain, poverty, war, and mutual family benefits. These reasons were and have remained causes girls have turned into brides through the ages. The tradition of arranging a daughter's marriage has been happening for millennia. There were numerous perceived benefits of arranging a marriage for young girls. Many have carried through to the present day:
Girl Brides in the US |
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Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and New Jersey are the only States that ban marriage before 18 under all circumstances. All other states have lower age floors (often the age of 12 for girls) that require consent from parents and judges, all too often given without considering the girl's wishes about to be married. This is an ideal way to force marriages on girls that don't want them.
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" Let our girls hear the chime of school bells, not of wedding bells. - JG |
When examined, the policies and statistics of girls getting married in the United States are staggering. Each state implements its own marriage laws, and there is no federal law to regulate the loopholes to the 18 year minimum age for marriage.
The adults who want girls to get married, parents with girls in tow, and the men who marry them often flock to the states where circumventing age requirements and residency requirements are simple. These "wedding destination spots" make it simple to take a little girl for a bride. Missouri is notorious.
The adults who want girls to get married, parents with girls in tow, and the men who marry them often flock to the states where circumventing age requirements and residency requirements are simple. These "wedding destination spots" make it simple to take a little girl for a bride. Missouri is notorious.
Other ways to get around minimum marriage age requirements include:
- Cohabitation - living together without being married
- Adoption - an older man adopts his "wife", so he can have custody and "rights" to her
- Contract Marriages - a family enters a contract with the man that when the girl is "of age", then she will marry him. As soon as the family can consent for her to be married, they do.
When Girls Get Married - The Risks
Child brides face a great deal more risk than those allowed to live out their girlhoods and receive an equal education. Along with facing becoming scared little girls with womanly expectations and responsibilities, they live through abuses that are against the human rights of any grown woman. Despite being children with children's needs, there is no playing kickball or video games, no sleepovers, or giggling with friends. These young girls are forced to submit to rape. They miss home, their parents, and their siblings. Kids need play and they need an education.
Girl brides face:
- a 75% higher risk of contracting STDs than sexually active teenagers
- are more prone to spousal (child) abuse
- experience pregnancies for which their bodies aren't ready. This is drastically dangerous for the child and the baby she gives birth to
- permanent physical
- serious mental illness, including depression, anxiety and PTSD.
It is a common misconception that girls who marry early are less at risk of getting Sexually Transmitted Diseases. This is not the case—married teenage girls contract STDs over 75% more than sexually active non-married teens.
Abuse from husbands happens at much higher rates for married little girls. No matter which way spousal physical, mental, and emotional abuse is incurred by little girls by their husbands, it IS child abuse, making it that much more heinous. Very young brides experience abuse at much higher rates than women do. 90% of women in a study done in 2019 said they were abused during their marriage.
Abuse from husbands happens at much higher rates for married little girls. No matter which way spousal physical, mental, and emotional abuse is incurred by little girls by their husbands, it IS child abuse, making it that much more heinous. Very young brides experience abuse at much higher rates than women do. 90% of women in a study done in 2019 said they were abused during their marriage.
 | Pregnancy and complications during labor are the number one killers of girls aged 15-19 in the world. The babies born from youth pregnancy have more complications during pregnancy, at birth, and infant mortality increases by 50%. The long-term effects of early marriage and motherhood have horrible long-term effects, such as infertility, incontinence, fistula, and increased risk of life-threatening disease. Infants survive 50% of the time when born to a child. Aside from the risks of early pregnancy on the health of girl brides, there are far more things that can go wrong with the health of a girl forced or sold into marriage. The risk of heart attack, stroke, and diabetes are all more likely to occur in the future for these brides. |
Educational Implications for Child Brides
All girls experience barriers to education, whether to receive equal attention, as many opportunities, or as much credit as their male peers. Lacking these things, girls are already at an educational disadvantage everywhere. Girls with age-appropriate relationships that don't complete high school have an 11% greater chance of living in poverty, while the risk for girls who marry before the age of 16 increases to 31%. The majority of the time, this is because husbands won't let their child brides go to school. They may realize the abuse they are undergoing.
Without equal education, there can never be genuine equality. Girls who get married are 50% less likely to finish high school than their peers and 75% less likely to finish college. This inequality keeps girls who are married at home and in danger.
If society allowed for women to have the same education and workplace privileges as men, the world's economy would improve immensely. With a greater workforce and intelligent, involved women leaders
Without equal education, there can never be genuine equality. Girls who get married are 50% less likely to finish high school than their peers and 75% less likely to finish college. This inequality keeps girls who are married at home and in danger.
If society allowed for women to have the same education and workplace privileges as men, the world's economy would improve immensely. With a greater workforce and intelligent, involved women leaders
A Brighter Future
Ruth Bader Ginsburg's legendary quote "It starts with the people" couldn't be more appropriate when it comes to eradicating child marriage. As a topic that isn't yet in the mainstream consciousness, there is no other way than for advocates and activists using their collective power to inspire action.
We're beyond proud to be a partner with Girls Not Brides, along with 1500 organizations around the world vowing to end the marriage of girls. These agencies support each other by taking action collectively and individually to educate others and influence policy. Their website has phenomenal learning resources and plenty of ways to take action against childhood marriage.
The International Center for Research on Women is at the forefront of providing worldwide data and studies on child marriage and other women's rights issues. Their information is up-to-date and study driven.
The first priority for nearly all organizations dedicated to ending the forced and sanctioned practice of child marriage is education. Teaching girls about reproductive health and providing them with the equal education that will secure their futures as educators and leaders, ultimately improving the world's representation, relations, and economy.
We're beyond proud to be a partner with Girls Not Brides, along with 1500 organizations around the world vowing to end the marriage of girls. These agencies support each other by taking action collectively and individually to educate others and influence policy. Their website has phenomenal learning resources and plenty of ways to take action against childhood marriage.
The International Center for Research on Women is at the forefront of providing worldwide data and studies on child marriage and other women's rights issues. Their information is up-to-date and study driven.
The first priority for nearly all organizations dedicated to ending the forced and sanctioned practice of child marriage is education. Teaching girls about reproductive health and providing them with the equal education that will secure their futures as educators and leaders, ultimately improving the world's representation, relations, and economy.
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